Waiting waiting waiting....

As you may have guessed....  I am still waiting for a job.  But this time I have a plan.  A sneaky plan to get back at the universe and to trick it into giving me a job.  A whole new level of desperation.  But I can't tell you about it until I find out if it has worked or not.  I will give you a sneak peek and let you know that it involves me giving up on ever doing anything useful in this world and just allowing myself to wallow in massive amounts of self-pity. 

But for now I am just waiting.  Waiting to live.  Waiting to die.  Waiting for an absolution that would never come.

Nope, that was Rose in a lifeboat in Titanic (still haven't seen the 3D version, if you were wondering).  But soon you will find out if my waiting has been successful!

Free Stuff

Everybody likes free stuff, especially broke, unemployed people like me!  My friend Jen came up with a beautiful way to attain all sorts of free things, and I am going to share that with you here. In short it is, sign up to be in the audience of as many television shows as you possibly can. During these shows they will give you free things. It's that easy.

We recently went to a taping for Steven and Chris. It was awesome, the show was hilarious, and we had a really great time. Then at the end of the show we were given a free magazine on home design, and the real prize, a Nescafe Dolce Gusto coffee maker. This thing is amazing. It makes cappucinos and lattes and espresso and I didn't even drink coffee before I got this crazy little machine but now all I want to do is get more little magic capsules to make more coffee! It has filled my life with such joy. All for exactly zero dollars.

In a caffiene induced frenzy (in funny news not from our coffee makers, right after the show Jen and I headed to Starbucks with our presents and proceeded to pay for coffee), we came up with some even better ideas. These beautiful coffee pots could become gifts - weddings, birthdays, holidays, baby showers. Everybody needs more coffee in their lives! Plus people would be impressed with such a generous and thoughtful present, and you would never need to mention the free part.

But, here comes the really genius part of the entire plan, what if instead of selfishly keeping your prize, or selflessly giving it away you sold it on eBay? Thereby making money off of something that was free. Essentially going somewhere, doing something, putting in a little time on the computer and coming away with money. Yes, I hope you see where this is going, stay with me here people..... Going to free shows could become your JOB!!!!!!!! The cash you earned could be used to go out for dinner or buy gas for your car or pay your rent. You would be a working person once again. You could use complimentary tickets to television tapings as your way back into respectable society.

That is why we have signed up for as many shows as we can. Some shows limit the amount of times you can attend or the frequency in a season (not Steven and Chris, go fellow unemployed Torontonians, go every day!). I'm off to Marilyn Denis next week and am hoping to hear back from Cityline soon.

I also need to brag a little. For the unemployed you may have found your self esteem has hit an all time low, here is a way to boost it. At these shows there is a definite seating arrangement based on how well you present yourself. Jen and I got front row seats, because we are, in fact, front row material. It also needs to be mentioned, the girl behind us in line said to the man choosing seats for everybody, "Ooo can we sit in the front row too?" She was promptly sat in the second row. Front row isn't for everybody, just saying....




When you're this adorable how could they not put you in the front row?


The reason I mention this all specifically today is because on Monday September 19th at 2pm on CBC you will be able to watch the season premiere that we attended. You'll know right where to find me in the audience. Also, after it's over can we please talk pet miniature pigs? Maybe I'll save that for another post....