It has been raining all day and I've been sitting at home drinking coffee (damn you Steven and Chris, my coffee maker might have been free but cappucino refills certainly are not), watching horrible shows about babies being born, and harassing my husband, who is off being all lawyer-y and work-y.
Husband: "Stop calling me, I'm working"
Me: "Uhmm okay I have barely called at all. This is only my third phone call in ten minutes, so just settle down"
Husband: "I am in court, don't send me pictures of the dog looking sleepy."
Me: "O my gosh! Look how sleepy the dog is now.... he will totally love this picture so much more than the one I just sent...."
I know... super cute right?
So I decided to do something useful, which was brainstorm ideas on jobs I could do, if anyone was ever to offer me one.
I started with working for the TTC. These people get benefits and vacation days and sick days and they strike and throw tantrums all for a lot of money. I could totally do that. I love whining! It is a true passion of mine. Actually I think I would also be good at working for any government organization because of this particular unique skill, although I am also a hard worker who gets things done on time and I am good with budgeting so maybe I wouldn't fit in afterall.
Next I came up with mail delivery person. I love walking. Love! I would bring my dog and we would be so happy walking around all day and carrying mail. Plus I could read people's postcards, which is a definitely perk to working in that field. I love things that aren't really any of my business, but are mostly harmless.
Then I started to think of other things I loved. I think I would love to be a flight attendant so I could vacation lots. I hit a small snag here. First, I am too short. Second, I am extremely terrified of flying. But this naturally led me to another idea. I want to be someone who reviews fancy hotels in the Carribean. I want to go there and eat and drink and swim and tan and come home and write things like, "The sand was soft on my feet, and the all you can eat lobster was fantastic, but my cabana boy, although quite handsome, was a little slow on the margarita refills." Yes, that is a fantastic job.
I would even do this for places not so exotic and warm. For example, in Nowheresville Saskatchewan (I am familiar with the area because my father's family is from there), I could write, "I saw an appropriate amount of prairie dogs, I enjoyed my dinner but found the breakfast pancakes to be a little grainy. While the beds were comfortable the decor fell a little flat." hahahahaha o god.... hilarious!! Literary genius.... get it - prairies are flat, and they grow grain?!?! Nobody?? Really? Not even a smile?
....................... I guess comedy writer is out then..............
Moving on - I would also be very good at a management level. I am the oldest sibling in my family, so I have tons of experience being bossy and controlling. I think I could manage the hell out of anything, if someone would give me a chance. Unfortunately "manage the hell out of anything" doesn't seem to be making my resume more appealing. That and the lack of any real experience managing seem to be working against me.
I guess my job search continues. If you have any bright ideas for me please let me know.
Also - I checked my stats counter and while my blog seems to be doing terribly awful at best I would like to give a shout out to the 14 people from Russia who have apparently checked in this week. I admit, I felt like an international blogging super star! My sister said people were probably trying to find work in Canada and I tricked them into checking my blog with my misleading key words. Excellent, exactly what I am hoping for!! Next I just need to trick someone into hiring me for a job. Preferably something in management, involving travel and walking, and I wouldn't mind benefits thrown in.
Husband: "Stop calling me, I'm working"
Me: "Uhmm okay I have barely called at all. This is only my third phone call in ten minutes, so just settle down"
Husband: "I am in court, don't send me pictures of the dog looking sleepy."
Me: "O my gosh! Look how sleepy the dog is now.... he will totally love this picture so much more than the one I just sent...."
I know... super cute right?
So I decided to do something useful, which was brainstorm ideas on jobs I could do, if anyone was ever to offer me one.
I started with working for the TTC. These people get benefits and vacation days and sick days and they strike and throw tantrums all for a lot of money. I could totally do that. I love whining! It is a true passion of mine. Actually I think I would also be good at working for any government organization because of this particular unique skill, although I am also a hard worker who gets things done on time and I am good with budgeting so maybe I wouldn't fit in afterall.
Next I came up with mail delivery person. I love walking. Love! I would bring my dog and we would be so happy walking around all day and carrying mail. Plus I could read people's postcards, which is a definitely perk to working in that field. I love things that aren't really any of my business, but are mostly harmless.
Then I started to think of other things I loved. I think I would love to be a flight attendant so I could vacation lots. I hit a small snag here. First, I am too short. Second, I am extremely terrified of flying. But this naturally led me to another idea. I want to be someone who reviews fancy hotels in the Carribean. I want to go there and eat and drink and swim and tan and come home and write things like, "The sand was soft on my feet, and the all you can eat lobster was fantastic, but my cabana boy, although quite handsome, was a little slow on the margarita refills." Yes, that is a fantastic job.
I would even do this for places not so exotic and warm. For example, in Nowheresville Saskatchewan (I am familiar with the area because my father's family is from there), I could write, "I saw an appropriate amount of prairie dogs, I enjoyed my dinner but found the breakfast pancakes to be a little grainy. While the beds were comfortable the decor fell a little flat." hahahahaha o god.... hilarious!! Literary genius.... get it - prairies are flat, and they grow grain?!?! Nobody?? Really? Not even a smile?
....................... I guess comedy writer is out then..............
Moving on - I would also be very good at a management level. I am the oldest sibling in my family, so I have tons of experience being bossy and controlling. I think I could manage the hell out of anything, if someone would give me a chance. Unfortunately "manage the hell out of anything" doesn't seem to be making my resume more appealing. That and the lack of any real experience managing seem to be working against me.
I guess my job search continues. If you have any bright ideas for me please let me know.
Also - I checked my stats counter and while my blog seems to be doing terribly awful at best I would like to give a shout out to the 14 people from Russia who have apparently checked in this week. I admit, I felt like an international blogging super star! My sister said people were probably trying to find work in Canada and I tricked them into checking my blog with my misleading key words. Excellent, exactly what I am hoping for!! Next I just need to trick someone into hiring me for a job. Preferably something in management, involving travel and walking, and I wouldn't mind benefits thrown in.
YYYYYYMMMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! YOUR SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT!!!!!!!! <3 Amanda!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry I am just catching up! But I'll have you know a friend of mine worked for the TTC and he went to the Eaton Centre and bought a shirt while on the clock. Doesn't sound too bad... Also I will be your reference for any management positions haha! Don't stop believing sista :) xoxo
ReplyDelete