The Waitressing Years cont.

Hold on readers, we are about to embark on a whirlwind tour.  With my new found waitressing skills I went back to university and started looking for a part time job to help support my education/drinking fund.  First I worked at a little place in downtown Hamilton where I encountered extreme racism, a horrible chef/owner, and when I called for my schedule the girl who was supposed to be making the schedule told me that she had never heard of me and wasn't sure why I thought I worked there....  So I brought my then boyfriend, now husband, with me for moral support to pick up my pay cheque and never went back.

Next I worked for Yuk Yuks comedy club for two nights.  It was fun and funny and I thought I could really get into that job.  Except they also wouldn't give me a schedule, but instead of being honest about it they avoided my calls.  Finally, I left a message for my 'boss' and ended it with, "If I no longer have a job with you just let me know and I will stop calling."  He called back to insist that of course I still worked for him.  Then refused to pay me for the time I had worked.  Finally I also had to go down there to pick up my cheque which they tried to withhold. 

So ended my working career while in university.  But what followed was an unimaginable and hideous list of waitressing jobs that I can only give you in bullet form. 

*Tony Roma's in the Falls, by far the best waitressing experience of my life.  Lesson: always work for reputable chains not sketchy, dirty places where you fear for your life.

*Denny's - ignore my previous lesson.  New Lesson: Do not work for chain restaurants where you get yelled at for polishing the silverware and are told to just stand and do nothing instead.

*Biscotti's - a little place in Toronto.

* The Fiery Grill - a fun place on the water in Muskoka where I spent a few summers serving and swimming and tanning which no longer exists.

*__________ - another place in Toronto that will not be named because it does exist still and was mostly a front for drugs, but also a big supporter of the underage drinking community.  Once I asked two young girls for ID and got in trouble from my boss because they didn't have any.  Also we had to climb a small winding staircase to get to the upper portion of the restaurant and the owner used to stand underneath and grab our ankles and then fire you if you dropped your tray or spilled a drink.  Please note - I quit this job and was not fired because I have impeccable balance skills.  Although I did once shout, "You are not an alligator.  Don't touch me." because he was obviously pretending to be an alligator under there.  I did mention copious amounts of drugs were being dealt and used in this place, right? 

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Stay tuned, up next is a much anticipated chapter called, "Marching With Horses".  It is also the current working title of my life story - special thanks to my friends Jen and Carlie for their continuous support and laughter at the failure that is my life.

Rainy day reflections on what I am going to do with my life.... plus a cute puppy picture!

It has been raining all day and I've been sitting at home drinking coffee (damn you Steven and Chris, my coffee maker might have been free but cappucino refills certainly are not), watching horrible shows about babies being born, and harassing my husband, who is off being all lawyer-y and work-y.

Husband: "Stop calling me, I'm working"
Me: "Uhmm  okay I have barely called at all.  This is only my third phone call in ten minutes, so just settle down"
Husband: "I am in court, don't send me pictures of the dog looking sleepy."
Me: "O my gosh!  Look how sleepy the dog is now....  he will totally love this picture so much more than the one I just sent...."

I know...  super cute right?

So I decided to do something useful, which was brainstorm ideas on jobs I could do, if anyone was ever to offer me one.

I started with working for the TTC.  These people get benefits and vacation days and sick days and they strike and throw tantrums all for a lot of money.  I could totally do that.  I love whining!  It is a true passion of mine.  Actually I think I would also be good at working for any government organization because of this particular unique skill, although I am also a hard worker who gets things done on time and I am good with budgeting so maybe I wouldn't fit in afterall. 

Next I came up with mail delivery person.  I love walking.  Love!  I would bring my dog and we would be so happy walking around all day and carrying mail.  Plus I could read people's postcards, which is a definitely perk to working in that field.  I love things that aren't really any of my business, but are mostly harmless.

Then I started to think of other things I loved.  I think I would love to be a flight attendant so I could vacation lots.  I hit a small snag here.  First, I am too short.  Second, I am extremely terrified of flying.  But this naturally led me to another idea.  I want to be someone who reviews fancy hotels in the Carribean.  I want to go there and eat and drink and swim and tan and come home and write things like, "The sand was soft on my feet, and the all you can eat lobster was fantastic, but my cabana boy, although quite handsome, was a little slow on the margarita refills."  Yes, that is a fantastic job.

I would even do this for places not so exotic and warm.  For example, in Nowheresville Saskatchewan (I am familiar with the area because my father's family is from there), I could write, "I saw an appropriate amount of prairie dogs, I enjoyed my dinner but found the breakfast pancakes to be a little grainy.  While the beds were comfortable the decor fell a little flat."  hahahahaha  o god....  hilarious!!  Literary genius....  get it - prairies are flat, and they grow grain?!?!  Nobody??  Really?  Not even a smile?    

 .......................  I guess comedy writer is out then..............

Moving on - I would also be very good at a management level.  I am the oldest sibling in my family, so I have tons of experience being bossy and controlling.  I think I could manage the hell out of anything, if someone would give me a chance.  Unfortunately "manage the hell out of anything" doesn't seem to be making my resume more appealing.  That and the lack of any real experience managing seem to be working against me.

I guess my job search continues.  If you have any bright ideas for me please let me know.

Also - I checked my stats counter and while my blog seems to be doing terribly awful at best I would like to give a shout out to the 14 people from Russia who have apparently checked in this week.  I admit, I felt like an international blogging super star!  My sister said people were probably trying to find work in Canada and I tricked them into checking my blog with my misleading key words.  Excellent, exactly what I am hoping for!!  Next I just need to trick someone into hiring me for a job.  Preferably something in management, involving travel and walking, and I wouldn't mind benefits thrown in.