Sunday, 22 April 2012

Conclusion to my Sneaky Plan.

Well in ultra-shocking news, my plan to trick the universe into giving me what I wanted (aka a career I could care passionately about and work my little head off for the next 40....  well maybe 35 at this point...  years) did not actually work out as planned.

In fact, I am just an idiot, as always.  But now I will fill you in.

So, my brilliant plan, was to give up on wanting to help anybody in the world and start applying for jobs with only my own financial gain in mind.  That's right.  Give up on the children.  Give up on the 5 years of post-secondary.  Give up on all of my part-time jobs and sacrifices and extra training and courses I have taken.  Just switch over.  No problemo. 

Not only did I apply for the most boring/high paying job I could find in manufacturing, but I sent in a good application, and spent an hour filling out a survey on myself.  Take that universe.

The universe did not like this plan.  In fact, the universe was like, "O dear, we have made a horrible mistake, we've only been toying with you in some sick cat and mouse game for the last thousand years, but really, we would like you to work at a job you would be good at instead of a job that makes your soul die."  *aside - news flash universe - that is already my life right now, currently my soul is dying, slowly and surely, day by day.

The fates, or powers that be, threw me a bone.  A little teeny tiny baby chicken wing of a bone.  Or, more accurately, you know when you are eating fish and you accidentally choke on a little invisible fish bone?  Yes.  That is what I was given.  Fish bone to choke on.  But if I don't die, at least I had some fish?  I have gotten quite lost in my own metaphor here people.  I apologize.  Back to my actual story.  What really happened is that I got a call for an interview for a part-time 8 week contract job that I would LOOOOVE!!  I got all excited about this, thinking it would be my way in to what would eventually lead to my dream job.  I know, I have thought this before, but it has never panned out, I am an eternal optimist, what can I say? 

I went to the interview and felt it had gone well, and was told to expect a call in two weeks.  Around this time I was also given an interview with the manufacturing company I had applied to.  Here is where my crazy logic came in.  I thought if I also went to that interview I could once again rile up my fate and scare it into giving me a job to prevent me from throwing away the last six and a half years of my life to work in a factory. 

And, you know the end because I started this post with the end.  That plan did not work.  In fact, just to screw me over a little bit more, I not only didn't get called back for a part-time 8 week contract, I also did not get called back from my manufacturing interview. 

I am now welcoming suggestions for other ways to trick the universe into accidentally giving me a job!  I need to step up my game a bit here I think. 

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Waiting waiting waiting....

As you may have guessed....  I am still waiting for a job.  But this time I have a plan.  A sneaky plan to get back at the universe and to trick it into giving me a job.  A whole new level of desperation.  But I can't tell you about it until I find out if it has worked or not.  I will give you a sneak peek and let you know that it involves me giving up on ever doing anything useful in this world and just allowing myself to wallow in massive amounts of self-pity. 

But for now I am just waiting.  Waiting to live.  Waiting to die.  Waiting for an absolution that would never come.

Nope, that was Rose in a lifeboat in Titanic (still haven't seen the 3D version, if you were wondering).  But soon you will find out if my waiting has been successful!

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Terrible Twos

Well blog readers, the time has finally come.  I am the mother of a two year old (dog).  My baby turned two on April 1st, forcibly shortening my birthday celebrations.  My birthday is my favourite holiday.  April 13.  In case you wanted to get something in the mail, there is still time.  But be quick!

When I was a very small child, I must have gotten out of hand with birthday celebrations because right before my own second birthday I was given the glorious gift of a little sister.  In mid-February.  No longer could I start planning my own parties and themes and joyous celebration in January.  She had stolen my spot light.  Understandably, I hated her for many years.

Then, right after I turned five, ANOTHER SISTER!  This one in mid-May.  Do you see how they neatly curbed my creative process?  My birthday party was effectively cut down to be slightly under eight weeks.  How is a girl to live like that? 

Then, almost exactly two years ago, I did myself in.  Adopting a dog/son whose birthday was practically the same as mine.  It must have been his snuggly little body, his puppy dog eyes, his slobbery little self, only true love could ever infringe on my favourite holiday and get away with it the way he has.  (I know, you are asking yourself, how much attention could a dog birthday get?  I am getting to that part.  Please be patient.)

If seeing dogs treated better than most of the humans on this planet makes you feel ill - well you better skip these next few pictures because it got a little out of hand!

A trip to the cottage for the most spoiled dog in the world.

His cage was decorated!

Dog cupcakes of course!

He might be all grown up, but he will always be my little baby!

With the dog's birthday as my benchmark, I hope you have a birthday that is at least this good, and maybe a little bit better.  Rainbow chip cupcakes anyone??