Resolution Update/ More Money Saving Tips!

Like 300 million other people, this year in January I joined a gym.  Definitely spending money that I don't have rather than buying groceries.  I know.  Counter intuitive to how very very poor I am.  But, it goes with my resolution to be more positive, and nothing makes me happier than running until I feel like I am going to throw up (on average about 5 minutes on a medium/low speed). 

I'm nothing if not honest with you all, so I will tell you that I joined Goodlife.  In order to sell me their package, I went on a long tour of the women's only facility.  The one closest to my house is women's only, and let's be honest ladies, these types of gyms seem to be more about socializing than actually working out.  On my tour the Goodlife rep said to me, "Now don't worry about attending these weight lifting classes, they will not make you bulk up and have too much muscle."  Uhmmm  okay...  Thanks Goodlife.  I am definitely coming to the gym to make sure I never gain muscle.  Do you have programs that help me maintain my flabby stomach too?  O, actually, at the class I was in yesterday they told us if you went to the gym this weekend there was going to be free cake....

Goodlife also loves to pressure me into getting skin cancer through their over enuthusiastic sales of indoor tanning.  They are forever offering me my first tan free, or trying to get me to tour their claustrophobic little death chambers.  Holy moly, no thank you Goodlife!  Although here's a good business plan - why not offer botox as well?  Because if people really tan that often soon they will be wanting to get rid of their wrinkles!

Nothing says sexy like a big box of death.  Come on baby, light up a cigarette for me.

Ooops, a rant on Goodlife business practices was not the point of this blog.  Have you missed my rambling?  My point is that I have cleverly taken to showering at the gym to avoid having to pay for showers at home.  The logic is that I'm already paying for the gym, so why not take advantage?  I now take all my showers in the comfort of a disgusting public stall where my dirty water mixes with all the other ladies and where my towel has the option of hanging in the shower and getting wet with me, or hanging on the hooks in the public area where I have to run out naked to get it.  I alternate between with two, if you were wondering.

In conclusion, I like to bring you to the new lows of my life.  I'm trying my best here people!  As always, I am open to your money saving suggestions.

Oops I was looking for a picture to show you have horrific my Goodlife showers are, but instead this cutie little beast popped up and made me smile.  Yay for baby hippos!

Assertiveness Resolution Attempt #1

Dear fellow readers, thank you very much if you ever come back to this blog.  I have to admit I have lost interest a little bit.  Not in you, and certainly not in writing, but more specifically I feel like this blog is a reminder of my failure.  When I started doing some research (I know, this seems like haphazard babbling, but I promise it is also, at times, well informed), the main problem with unemployment blogs was they seemed to all abruptly end when the person who was writing found a job.  That will totally be me, I thought to myself.  I will immediately get a job and never write on the internet again because my life will be filled with things like work, and getting ready for work, and travelling to and from work, and talking about work, and going out with my new cool dude work friends.  Alas....  we know how this story ends....  and here I am still  unemployed.  So I will update you in my latest attempt at assertiveness. 

I was at Walmart.  Two days ago I dropped off a prescription for birth control, mistakenly thinking for some reason the pharmacy would fill this prescription and I would be able to prevent myself from having an unwanted and absolutely unaffordable baby.  *side note - I accidentally read a description of labour in a book the other day, well actually only about 3 sentences of 'what to expect' then I threw up in my mouth  and almost lost consciousness and am now uncertain if I even want children, although my inclination has always been to adopt but Husband says no way to that dream.*

Back to my actual story - Walmart did not have my prescription ready.  Seriously.  I dropped it off on Wednesday and it is Friday and they didn't read the number of packages properly.  Then they promised they would fix it, no problem.  Only I would have to wait half an hour.  Even though I had already waited two days!!  I was frustrated, especially because I had just attended a wonderful yoga class and was feeling relaxed and happy in the world, and Walmart succeeded in ruining my happiness.  I started to walk away.  Then I thought to myself, 'be assertive.  Walmart doesn't get to ruin your day.'  So I went back and very politely said, "I would like the prescription back, I am going to go somewhere else."  The pharmacist said, "well you should have said specifically what you wanted, sorry for the confusion, but I am already entering the information in the computer."  "No." I said on my assertive power trip, "I would like it back.  I am going somewhere else."  With many apologies she gave it back, but at this point I didn't need her apologies, I felt like the winner.

By the time I got back to the car I realized I was not the winner because I didn't have any birth control, which was what I had gone out for. 

You know who the real winner was here?  Shoppers Drug Mart.  Because that is where I immediately went afterwards to fill my prescription.

I have no conclusion today.  Was this achieving anything towards my resolution?  Did it really make me a better person?  I can't tell.  I did come up with a new, more concrete resolution.  Take up smoking.  Then next year I can quit it. 

How I'm Going to Make 2012 My Very Best Year

My family is sick of hearing about the Mayans and how this might be our very last year to make resolutions.  But I am resolving to continue bothering you all about it for the next year.  Just in case it comes true.  Then my dying words can be, "Told you so."  Which they probably will be regardless of how I go...  but this one seems like an especially big argument to be on the right side of.  I only hope I make it to the very end and don't get taken out early in some sort of flashflood or earthquake or rabid cat attack or whatever is supposed to be coming in these end of days. 

If this picture doesn't scream happliy married and glad to be starting a new year together.....  well I just don't know what does then......

I am also making more practical resolutions, in case this whole thing doesn't pan out and I go on living my mundane life.  I know I told you in my last post I was going to stop prcrastinating, but that was not very serious.  I am not really a big procrastinater, I never miss real things, just put them off until I get inspired to make changes in my life and then I am rather effective and can do ten thousand things in one day.  Then my enthusiasm wanes and I go back to doing nothing more than lying on my couch watching Four Weddings and eating chocolate for breakfast.  Side note - Four Weddings Canada comes out now??  After my wedding?  I would have kicked ass at that show.  My wedding would have definitely won, mostly for the open bar and my beautiful dress.

Maybe what I need is more focus in my life?  I'll put it on the resolution list for 2013 (assuming we make it).

Here it goes for 2012.

1.  Stop apologizing for things I am not sorry for.  I say sorry for everything.  EVERYTHING.  Someone bumps into me.  I apologize.  Someone pushes me purposely, I would say, "I'm so sorry for being in your way."  Someone steals money from me.  My response?  "I'm terribly sorry, but that belongs to me, may I have it back?"  Someone comes into the mall where I work and we don't have something they want in stock.  I apologize.  Did they come looking for me to apologize?  No of course not.  Do I need to be sorry the store I work for doesn't carry what they want?  Do I personally ship the items late?  Do I decide on the stock that is carried?  Or make deliveries?  Do I ruin items leaving them with the choice of one crumpled item or having to find something else?  No, No and NO.  Do I apologize for all of these things that I am not at fault and, also, not sorry for?  Yes.  Every time.  Does it weaken my apology?  Cheapen it?  Make it lose meaning?  Of course it does.  Would I tell every customer I love them?  Would I say I love you to the person who cuts me off in line at the grocery store?  To the driver who almost runs me and my puppy over?  No, never.  Therefore, when I am not sorry, I must stop saying it. 

2.  Be more assertive.  Some people might think I am assertive enough.  Or too assertive.  But I feel like I defer to avoid a fight in situations where I should stand up for myself.  For example, I have an ongoing battle with Sears right now because our hot water heater isn't working properly.  It randomly goes from very very hot to freezing cold with no warning.  My argument is that it isn't safe to be showering and not know when I am going to be blasted with water too hot to stand under.  They said 120 degrees isn't too hot.  I love hot showers, to the point where I come out the colour of a boiled lobster and my body is overheated and I need to drink gallons of water to counteract the dehydration.  120 degrees is too hot for me.  I let them have the weekend off from calling and wasn't going to call yesterday either because they might be busy just coming off their holiday.  Then I had a shower that not only was unpleasant, I could have received 3rd degree burns from it.  So I called.  Their new argument was the heater worked, just not the way I want it to.  Just like Leon's, this is frustrating and stupid and they should be able to fix the problem easily and instead it is turning into a huge issue.  Just like Leon's, I will probably lose, after hours of work on my part and millions of dollars in long distance bills.  I believe I need to be more assertive in this situation and many others.  It starts today (or rather yesterday). 

3.  Stay positive.  You may have noticed at times I can be a little negative.  In most cases my negativity is hilarious.  No seriously.  I love an awful experience because I am willing to laugh at myself about almost anything.  The more mysterious the illness, the more horrifying my drive home, the closer I come to complete and utter failure, the funnier it is.  Once, while waitressing, I walked into a closed glass door with a full tray of drinks.  I was chased by a goose as a child.  My godawful inability to find a job.  The time my dog got scared by a bag of garbage and dragged me so I tripped and ended up stuck in a recycling bin.  These things are hilariously funny.  Very few bad days have no humour.  But, I also find this horrible black hole of nothingness sometimes fills my brain.  When I count how many jobs I've applied to without hearing back.  When I think about the very few interviews I've had, and how they have also amounted to nothing.  When I think about my life goals and dreams and realize none of them involve being unemployed and unsuccessful and closing in on thirty.  These are the days and thoughts I am going to try and banish.  The ones that make me feel depressed, that effect my health, my marriage and most importantly my sense of humour.

That's about all for now.  I never like to come up with a huge list because I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start and it takes me until April to even attempt anything.  But these I can start right now.  This very day.  Watch out world.  No seriously, watch out.  A meteor is probably on it's way right this very second to obliterate the planet.  I'm ready for it 2012.

Regis' resolution?  To look more dapper.  Hence the bowtie.  Thanks Sam!

2011 in Review

*I wrote this before 2012.  I really did.  And then I didn't bother to edit or post it and mostly had forgotten about it until a friend asked me about my blog today.  Sorry friends.  If you have been in withdrawal without knowing about my life.  I am just a little behind.  I am going to start on my list of resolutions tonight.  (sneak preview - number one is to stop procrastinating...). Now on to the original post.*

I like to do a year end summary as each year passes in my life.  Most of the time it is in my head, or in my journal (you know, those little books of blank pages of paper they used to use in the 1600s and everybody else has since moved on to an electronic version but I continue to buy them, as well as calendars??).  I know, everybody these days just has facebook do it automatically for them.  Well, this year I thought I would sum it up for you here on the internet in the form of pros and cons.  I couldn't decide if I should start with the good or the bad.  I've done a lot of cutting and pasting and re-cutting and re-pasting and have decided to start with the bad and end with the good.  Just to keep things light and positive around here.

Cons

I applied to exactly 37 jobs over the course of this year.  During that time I had four interviews.  The only job I was offered was minimum wage seasonal at the mall, which I have grown to enjoy, but it is not my dream job.  I did have an opportunity to interview, twice, for my dream job.  I am still not quite over that rejection.  Sheesh.  That one hurt more than when one of my highschool boyfriend broke up with me by just not speaking to me anymore and finding himself another girlfriend (although, in retrospect, my only regret about that is I didn't stop speaking to him first).  In conclusion, hopefully 2012 brings with it some better luck and interviewing skills on my behalf.

We moved out of Toronto.

I spent six entire months planning a wedding.  For those of you who haven't done it, my only advice would be, don't!  No matter how happy you are to be getting married, or how well everybody gets along, this will be a hellish journey through hell you would wish only upon serial rapists and anybody who works at Leon's(see pros for more details).

The world is filled with stupid idiots who in turn fill my blog with babblings about those idiots.  This is a con for humanity, but really a pro for my life because otherwise this blog would have to be a lot less sarcastic and a lot more boring and uplifting. 
Regis quit Live.  That was one of the biggest downers of the year for me.  I cry over a lot of television, but never so hard as that final episode of Live. 

There really has to be more.  Lots more.  I am sure of it but for now I think I have covered all of the major events. 


Pros

The biggest one for this year is that I got married to the most wonderful husband in all the land and then went on a fantastic honeymoon around Europe for six weeks, completely and totally avoiding all responsibility and pretending I was not a grown up at all.

We moved out of Toronto.

We moved into the cutest little comfy house I have ever seen and I'm happy to be here.

My wedding is over and I never have to do that again.  Before I was even engaged my cousin whispered to me, "if you are thinking of getting married, don't have a wedding, elope."  I smiled sweetly and thanked her for the advice, knowing my wedding planning wouldn't turn into a horrible mess of awfulness.  It did.  It absolutely did.  I found I was stressed over the colour of the ribbon that tied my lillies together, or whether or not my lactose intolerant guests could manage the blue cheese ravioli I adored, and what to do if it rained, and what flip flops I would wear under my dress to dance in.  These are not the sort of things I ever thought I would care about.  My wedding turned me into a crazy person who was genuinely upset over these tiny details and thousands of other.  Plus I managed to get a raging sore throat and the beginnings of my 'stress' rash on my face (which a doctor told me almost 6 months later had nothing to do with stress and I needed antibiotics to clear it up...  oops....) in the week before our wedding.  My advice, newly engaged couples, is to elope. 

If you must have a wedding, make sure it ends something like this - beer, chips and your very best friends documenting the entire thing for fb to see.

Do I need more?  I believe life is made up of all the tiny pros.  My puppy making me laugh.  My husband doing the dishes (that might have happened in 2010, but the joy of it still fills me all the way through this year and into the next).  A day at the cottage.  A night cuddled on the couch watching the Charlie Sheen roast (don't lie, you know it was a highlight of your year too).  A new friend.  Or finding out your old friends are more wonderful than you knew.  Winning a minor battle over Leon's.  These sorts of things keep me optimistic about next year.  2012 will be the year of my career.  Also the year of the dragon.  How can anything go wrong?  Unless of course the Mayans are right, and then we are all in for a serious amount of trouble.... 

Happy Shopping Season!

I know this will seem a little unbelievable, but I have actually been incredibly busy this last little while.  I apologize, but my part time job quickly became full time, and then more than full time, with me working 6 days last week and 47 hours!!  Yikes!!  As an unemployed person that is a horrifically overwhelming amount of work to be doing in only one week.  That's about my hourly total for the months of July, August, September and October combined.  Seriously.  That is not a joke.

I just came across a little piece of news to brighten your day and fill you with whatever sort of holiday spirit you care to be filled with.  The results of a young alumni survey I had filled out a few weeks ago for McMaster came in today.  The most startling information is that 16.5% of the 2500 respondents said they were unemployed.  I didn't say I was unemployed, but I definitely mentioned being rediculously underemployed. 

I understand that chances are more unemployed people bothered to actually do the survey (me included), but still!!  That is much much higher than any national averages.  What are we doing?  Besides sleeping in our parents' basements and eating chips until 4am and hoping that the next day we will have the inner strength to be bothered to put on clothing or at least not entirely and completely lose the will to live.  But why aren't we out there in the work force?  This seems absolutely crazy to me.  I am happy to not be alone in this.

Can I also let you know that further in to the survey the number one thing we would like a discount on is retail stores and number two is travel related?  Uhmmm  how are all these unemployed people travelling and buying stuff?  (unless they have all read my blog about marrying for money/rent, in which case I completely understand, and spend on my fellow losers, spend on!). 

I have no real conclusion, only my condolences for the rest of my generation.  I had this vague hope that possibly I was in a small minority of unemployed, going nowhere in life, people who haven't managed to really do anything and would have been better off with only a highschool diploma and a full time job.  But it looks like I am not alone, and although that is mildly comforting, I wouldn't wish this fate on anyone!

Back to my real world - we can't afford a new vacuum cleaner and I am trying to fix our old one and they company just emailed me and told me they didn't even make the product we have because apparently Electrolux switched hands in 2001....  oops....  haha  The quest for a new filter continues!

Leons Versus The Brick - An Internet Showdown

****  UPDATE AT BOTTOM ****

Note: Re-updated.  Darn you Leon's.  Darn you to heck.

Another note:  Re-re-updated.

Since we have a little bit of wedding present money left to spend, and a brand new rental house to furnish, we've been buying furniture.  Specifically a bedroom set from Leons and a living room set from The Brick.  We have had two radically different experiences that I would like to share with you. 

Leons

Go shopping at the Danforth store.  Have sales person follow us around.  Choose furniture.  Wait half an hour for the order to be processed.  Wait some more while she wandered around doing nothing and trying to make us buy more furniture. 

Day of delivery.  Wait for phone call, never received.  They show up randomly and deliver furniture.  Footboard is smashed all up.  Dresser drawers are uneven and don't close.  Night table is not put together properly.

Call Leons.  Am told someone will come to fix it.  Specifically describe problems and say, `Will the technician be able to take apart the dresser because that is the only way to fix it?". 

Technician comes.  Cannot take apart dresser.  Fill out forms.  Leaves.  Without fixing anything, except a little paint on the night table to hide the fact it was not put together properly.

Another day off work, waiting around.  This is $80 I could desperately use, Leons!  New footboard is fine.  New dresser is dented.  Given $100 off.

Decide that is not acceptable because the dent is really noticeable.  Call Leons.  Offer to send another dresser and let us keep $100 off for the hassle.

Dresser #3 is broken and cannot be taken off the truck it is so severely damaged structurally, good thing I took another day off work.  We had been assured it was in good condition because a manager had checked it.  Right.  Just like every time I call and they don't call me back and I call again and they say, "O I was just looking at your file and was about to call."  Don't patronize me Leons.

Call Leons.  Ask for a fourth dresser.  No problem.  It will all be fine, Jason assures me.  Bed doesn't go together.  Technician will come and fix it.  Bed is apparently always difficult to put together, but we were told it would be easy for us to do ourselves.

Technician comes and fixes bed for us.  Keep counting, this is day five off work.

Night before Leons is supposed to deliver the fourth dresser, I call Leons in Toronto, they are sure it has been double checked by a manager.  They offer to call the store in Burlington and call me back.  Call back, oops, dresser number four is broken too.  Maybe we have to wait until a new shipment in the end of December?  Who knows.  I ask for a further discount.  Am assured that of course there will be one after the dresser is delivered.

Get a call.  Possibly a dresser for us.  They will deliver it.  I ask the Burlington store about a discount, of course we will get one, they understand that we have taken six days off work to wait around for their delivery guys who never call because the one time we had to be out of the house they promised they would call an hour before so we could get back in time and they didn't call until they were already at the house. 

Dresser is delivered.   It is fine.  We take it.

Wait for Leons to call us about discount.

Keep waiting.

Call them.  Manager will call me back. 

Keep waiting.

Call again.  O, what great timing!  They were just going over our file and about to call me back.  They offer me $100.  The original $100.  No discount for the FOUR extra days off work?  I ask how I can get a hold of head office or someone above the store manager.  Apparently everything is handled through store managers and nothing else.  I only want to let someone know about my issues with their quality control.  Nope.  No way.  I explain that I have never heard of a large corporation that doesn't have an organized hierarchy for complaints.  Still nothing.  If you had a problem with my mall store you could speak to the manager, then the store manager, then the district manager, and you could take it all the way up to the head office if you felt so inclined.  Leons has no such hierarchy.

Fine.  We will take the $100 discount.  Well, we can't actually have it because it is illegal for them to store our credit card number.  Canada privacy act or some such thing.  Husband will have to call with his credit card number.  Half an hour later he gets a message saying they had used his credit card number  that was on file to give a refund of the $100.

What the hell Leons?

The Brick

Go to store.  Find couch I had already seen on sale online.  Buy couch.  The entire process (including driving to and from the store) takes under an hour, and we sat on every couch in the entire store!  The sale only took five minutes.  We bought the couches on Thursday, they offered to deliver on Saturday or Sunday (Leons doesn't deliver Sunday). 

Couches are delivered.  Minor problem, missing legs for one of the couches.  Otherwise everything is in great condition, got offered an extended warranty and given protective spray for couches.

Call the Brick.  They offer to have legs shipped to us. 

Everything is fine, our living room is ready to go and less than a week later we are sitting on our couches in our beautiful living room.


I bet you can guess which store is getting my face punch.  No?  I'll give you a hint.... 

It's not the Brick.


**** UPDATE ****

Yesterday (3 whole weeks after I first posted this and then sent it in an email along with the blog link to Leon's to show them that I mean business about hating them), my Husband got a phone call from Leon's.  We stared, confused, at the call display, wondering what awful thing they were calling to tell us now.  Finally I said, "well you might as well answer it".  He answered the phone and I heard him say, "well you can talk to her", and handed the phone to me.  Imagine my shocked surprise to find out they were calling to apologize for their terrible service, and to tell me they had discussed the problem with their supplier AND in the most shocking news off all, they would like to offer us an additional $200 off. 

In conclusion, I felt like I won.  Although on further reflection I feel what I won was a major battle, that will have minor long term reprecussions for them in that we will not shop at there store any more (ever heard of 'too little, too late' Leon's?), but overall they got rid of their crappy furniture and still got the majority of our hard earned money so maybe they were the winners of the war.

I thought I should update you to be fair to Leon's as a company.  If you would like to put in many many weeks of hard work, calling and never being called back, and leaving messages and never being called back, and having multiple dressers delivered and service men come to your house and $30 in long distance charges on your cell phone and waiting three months for a resolution that may never come and being filled with anger and resentment any time you spend more than five minutes in your bedroom - if all of that seems worth $300 off, then by all means, go ahead. 

Hopefully this is the conclusion of this drama.  But who can know what the New Year will hold?!?!

January 2, 2012.  That was obviously not the conclusion.  Today we checked our credit card bill.  We got $100 back.  Not $200.  Why did I ever bother?  Herm said, well you should call and ask.  But o no, not this time.  I am finished with those liars.  I am sorry I ever felt badly for being so mean and ammended this post.  DO NOT SHOP AT LEON'S.  The end.  For real this time.  O I really really hope so....

February 8, 2012.  Weeks after this whole fiasco we got a random $100 credit back.  So weird Leon's.  So weird....  In conclusion, I really don't know what to say.  Upon further review the furniture isn't even that nice.  It scratches easily.  And dust shows very clearly.  And it wasn't worth all of the hassle, or all of these updates.  I stick with my original opinion, skip Leon's. 

Just when I thought I had finally found rock bottom, I find you can always fall a little further. Sometimes, literally.

I felt like I was piecing my life back together, again.  After not getting that job I had decided to move on and stop looking in at the dress I had decided to buy at RW as a celebration dress which I can no longer afford and the adorable ankle boots I was also going to get.  I started packing my lunch instead of eating at the food court on my breaks.  I applied to a few more jobs on Monday.  I visited my family on the weekend.  Yes, I found I could move on, and possibly up.  There was something else out there for me.  Something better even!

Today I headed out to work at the mall.  I was walking because I cannot afford a car on my luxurious salary of under $600/month.  Also, let's be serious, I need the exercise.  I have become extremely inactive, even for an unemployed person.  While walking I thought of a funny story I wanted to tell my littlest sister.  I called her up, but since it had snowed last night and I was freezing I did something a little silly.  I never wear hats, for unknown reasons I hate them, instead I have a cute little headband to keep my ears warm.  I stuck my phone under my headband, thus creating my very own 'hands free' talking!  This is not an attractive look, but it served its purpose and it was early and nobody else was out.  I was zipping along trying to get to the mall when I decided to take a little short cut through a very small patch of grass.  This is where the problems started.  They ended with me dramatically slipping and falling into a mud puddle, screaming at the top of my lungs and grasping for my stupid phone which stayed stuck in my headband.

Please, picture this.  I am covered in mud, showing up to work right on time, but no extra time to go back and get changed.  I cannot afford buy new pants.  I definitely cannot afford to call in sick.  I have no choice.  I show up, pants soaked all the way up my butt, muddy and awful.  Is there really no end to my humiliation?  World, I apologize for whatever I did in a previous lifetime, but I do believe I have suffered enough.  Seriously.  Enough.  I am not sure how much more I can handle. 

In hilarious news, if that isn't enough, when I went to work and explained the story, I finished with, "you know, just in case you were wondering why I showed up looking like such a mess..."  to which a co-worker simply raised an eyebrow and stared me down.  I was forced to reply with an awkward, "well, more of a mess than usual.  *uncomfortable giggle*"

I tried to google various pictures of mud puddles and wearing your cell phone in your headband, but apparently this unique situation has not happened to anybody else, or if it has they have not documented in on the internet.  So, I have taken this opportunity to draw you a visual Paint representation of what happened.  Enjoy.  If you would like a self portrait done please send me your most embarassing moment and I will try to my best to draw it for you.



Yes, I took some liberties and made myself a lot blonder and thinner.  I needed something to brighten my day.