Tuesday, 20 September 2011

How to Avoid Being Homeless

This should not be a shock to anybody, but, being jobless equals being broke.  This is depressing news for me.  I have had to make some serious budget cuts lately, non-essentials like Brita filters (I still use the container for water, and I keep it in the fridge, if you ever come to my house and ask for a drink of cold water and I pour it from my Brita, it is absolutely not filtered, just cold.  I haven't had a filter in that thing for at least a year.), nice shampoo,  o and most food....  The dog is currently more expensive to feed every month than I am.

Speaking of weekly budgets, I once survived 8 months on a $10 a week food budget.  People often laugh when I tell them this and either humour me or interrogate me on how this is possible.  I lived next to a Food Basics, so my groceries were very cheap.  I was also working part time as a daycare teacher - I was underpaid but had plenty of spare time to shop for deals.  My weekly shopping list looked something like: loaf of bread, 2L milk (every 2 weeks), peanut butter (once a month), bag of apples, any vegetable which was on sale/slightly rotten (except cucumbers, even on this rediculously low budget I was never hungry enough to eat a disgusting cucumber).  That's correct, absolutely no fruit variety, no meat, and no Starbucks cookies, this was a very dark time in my life.  For a treat I would go to the Bulk Barn and pick up about 50 cents of candy.  I didn't even have enough money to pretend I had come for something else and happened to get this little tiny bag of candy along with it.  No.  My life really was this sad and pathetic.

Sad and pathetic is exactly where I am going with this post.  To escape homelessness there are not very many options when you have no job and no money.  You can try to get a bank loan, but apparently when you are out of school and have no job and no prospects and have been hanging around like a bum for the last four years the bank is not totally supportive of this.  You can move back home with your parents, if they will have you, but this is only if you are incredibly brave or incredibly stupid (love you Mom!).  You can try to hang out at your friends' houses, hoping they won't notice when you bring a very large suitcase and never leave.  Or, this summer I did something that might seem a little extreme, please hear me out, it has been working out quite well for me.

In the middle of June I quit my job.  July 9th I got married.  July 10th I had this conversation with my brand spanking new husband.

This is before I told him he had to pay my rent....

Me: o.....  by the way....  I don't exactly have money for rent this month.
Husband: what?
Me: yea, so now that we're married I assumed you could take care of rent for me.  I mean it would be a little embarassing for you to have to explain to our friends and family that you share our apartment with the dog and I'm currently looking for somewhere more affordable.
Husband: seriously?
Me: Yes.  Thanks.  O and sweetie, it was due on the first, so you're already 9 days late.  Might as well pay for August while you are at it.

Don't get me wrong.  I am very happy to be married, and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my husband, especially since I know our life together will always include a roof over my head.  I urge you to consider this option carefully, it sure beats living in a homeless shelter.  I have been doing the dishes more frequently to try and offset my financial dependence on him.  I feel this is a fair trade off.

Once while I was waitressing a little old lady told me, "Always remember dear, the first time you marry it's for money, the second time is for love.  Something to think about anyway.....

1 comment:

  1. Yup... definitely expected a tender mention of how accepting and helpful your husband was at the sound of your leetchery.