Sunday, 18 September 2011

The Very First Blog Face Punch

Let me tell you a long and rambling story about my night tonight.  The task was simple, get from Yonge and Eg to Dundas and Spadina on the TTC.  For those of you who are unsure, this should be a simple subway/streetcar combo.  Instead the subway is shut down between Bloor and Eglinton this weekend, so I boarded a bus, but it was obviously the wrong bus.  At Davisville I switched to the right bus.  Unfortunately, although going in the right direction it was a very very wrong bus for me.  The teenage boy beside me promptly got a nosebleed, causing blood to gush all over this very very crowded bus.  Rather than help, his group of friends laughed hysterically (this is not their fault, I'm sure we all would have done the same thing to our friends).  Finally a stranger gave him a kleenex and the situation seemed to be mostly under control (except for the blood that was still gushing, but at least it was rather more contained). 

Then the man next to me casually asked the time.  I had my phone out because I had already started texting to say I was going to be late for dinner, although I had left ample time.  I told him it was 5:15.  End of conversation.  Nope, it was not the end.  It was only the beginning.  He asked me if he could ask something personal, I ignored him, he asked me how long three trillion years was and if I could imagine such a thing (is it odd that I was insulted that he didn't ask me out?  remember when I mentioned my self esteem needing a boost?).  This three trillion year, one sided conversation obviously turned into a still one sided conversation about the enigma of god and how little people understand that the world was not created in 6000 years, and of course Stockwell Day....  This naturally led him to talk about the city of Toronto and how it is the third largest in the entire world after New York and Tokoyo.  I almost corrected him, but then I got a hold of myself and continued to ignore him.

Next stop - the subway.  God forbid the shuttle bus just continue south.  We all got off again and headed to the subway (except for bleeding boy who, last I heard of him, was shouting for the nearest bathroom).  Subway two stops, rather uneventful, I got off a stop early so as not to tempt fate.

I waited for the streetcar and it came quickly and was mostly empty, I took a seat beside a friendly looking man.  This was all going far too smoothly.  Not to worry - next on came the homeless guy with all of his belongings overflowing from a pushcart, which he stopped beside me.  Bring it on TTC, I have smelled far worse on your disgusting streetcars.  I stayed in my spot, even though I got hit several times with a large garbage bag containing indescribable objects.  Homeless man got off soon.  Then it was my stop.  I got up and walked calmly to the back doors.  No problem.  Then, without reason, a man in the back of the streetcar decided it was absolutely crucial for him to exit from the front of the car instead of the back with everybody else.  He started pushing through and elbowed me directly in the head, seemingly without noticing.  To make sure that he did in fact notice I shouted, rather loudly, "OWWW" while rubbing my head to get my point across.  He mumbled a sorry on his dash to the front. 

I did make it to dinner shortly after this, so all was not lost.

But here is why the TTC is getting a punch to the face.  For starters this wasn't an unusual trip, it happens every fricking time I ride the TTC.  But it is more than the ineffective service.  It is a combination of this, and the complete disregard for hygiene and cleanliness, along with the rude and cranky drivers and ticket collectors, the overpriced and underwhelming system, the fact that they have recently put up "we love safety" signs all over the place and yet they let their bus drivers do drugs and kill people, the fact that it is one of the least effective transit systems I have encountered in all the world, that Adam Giambrone couldn't even finish reading his withdrawal from the mayoral race without sobbing like a baby (not sure why this bothers me so much, but it does), the fact that one time I really really needed to spend $10 for 4 tokens and a collector absolutely refused to sell me less than 5 for $12.50 and I was super broke and had no change and instead choose to ride my bike home in the rain.  For all of these reasons I am dedicating my first punch in the face to the TTC.  Well deserved.  I hope it causes a bloody nose at least as explosive as the one I already saw tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Okay- here goes...small town vs. big city. Last week I was riding the Niagara Falls transit and I left my laptop on my seat. I chased the bus down the street and the driver actually stopped, let me on the bus, get my laptop and didn't drive away until I was safely off the bus again. If someone got a nosebleed on a niagara falls bus, they would take everyone directly to emerg to get it looked after. Mind you? that's where our horror story would start- at our hospital emerg!